


Perspectives of Love

by SunWeaver



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, Multi, No plot just talking and feelings, Relationship Negotiation, a conversation, aroace Caduceus, happy ending I promise, introspection on love, polyamorous Mollymauk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunWeaver/pseuds/SunWeaver
Summary: Molly has somehow fallen hard for Caduceus, and in his heart of hearts hopes it could go further for the two of them.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Polynein mentioned
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	Perspectives of Love

It feels like this moment has been a long time coming. Lying down along a grassy slope, in crisp cold air that numbs the tips of their ears and noses. They have a mere two feet separating them from one another, and Molly so badly wants to close this gap between them.

If he doesn’t take his shot now, it will almost likely never happen.

“... Caduceus?” Molly speaks, not turning his head away from the starry night sky above them, “What might you consider the two of us?”

The answer comes so naturally to him, Molly can tell by his tone alone that he is smiling as he says it: “I like to think we’re good friends.”

_ Friends _ . Molly gives a hum, smile tugging on his own lips at the thought of it.

The silence closes down between them again, as their eyes search along the twinkling lights in the sky.

“... What would you say, Mollymauk?”

“Mm?”

Caduceus turns to look at Molly, “What do you think of us as?”

The answer doesn’t come as naturally, in fact, it gets stuck in a web of thoughts and is prickled with anxieties. Which feels so overwhelming as Molly has never experienced such a conflicting predicament as this before.

“... ‘ _ Good friends _ ’ seems to sum it up best,” Molly’s delivery feels hollow, and not even the forced polite smile after can help it.

He has to be very careful with how he breathes now, it is awfully quiet out, and if his breath so much as hitches in that funny way that it wants to right now, Caduceus is sure to catch onto it.

Caduceus allows there to be a pause, then speaks up, “And are you alright with that?”

Molly turns to look at Caduceus.

“It’s OK if you’re not,” Caduceus turns back, giving that gentle smile which causes Molly’s heart to flutter, “I just want to be sure.”

How can Caduceus possibly have this much patience and understanding for him of all people and creatures? Molly doesn’t know how to even respond. He’s been trying this new thing recently called “thinking before you speak”, and it has been a lot harder than it looks. It’s made him be quiet more often, stare blankly into space, and almost forget the original question entirely as his mind gets all caught up in the unnecessary details.

Molly’s mouth begins to form a word, taking a beat more before getting it out, “ _ W—ell _ , I can’t really change much else about it, so… I ought to be ‘ _ alright _ ’ with that.”

There’s a disapproving noise that Caduceus makes, “You ‘ _ ought _ ’ to?”

“I  _ have _ to?” Molly rephrases it, then looks to Caduceus to see his face scrunch up, “... I want to.”

Caduceus sighs through his nose softly, the cold autumn air enough to show a puff of steam come from it, “I truly am sorry, Molly.”

“No-“ Molly sits himself upright, “-Stop that, no.”

Caduceus remains still as Molly leans on his hip, looking back to Caduceus.

“Don’t you even dare with that,” Molly chides him, “There’s nothing you’ve got to be sorry for. Because you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. If anyone should be sorry, it should be me! Because I’m the one that keeps pushing your boundaries!”

Now there’s a frown that forms on Caduceus’s face, something Molly feels instant regret over, “You haven’t pushed my boundaries. If you had, I’d have said something by now.”

Molly pulls his knees up to his chest, one arm hugs around them, “I can only imagine it being uncomfortable though to have someone have such strong feelings for you in a way that you don’t reciprocate them.”

Caduceus joins Molly in sitting up, even when sitting he towers over him, yet he hunches over to try and be level with Molly, “It’s not that uncomfortable. I mean, I’ll admit, I’m pretty oblivious to it most of the time. But… Just as I don’t share those same feelings, doesn’t and shouldn’t invalidate you feeling them.”

“You would think my greedy ass would have its fill by now,” Molly continues to self deprecate, “I have Caleb and Fjord, gods know that Jester has enough love to fulfill me for several more lifetimes.”

“Do you not feel fulfilled?” Caduceus questions with a touch of concern.

“No I—god that sounds so selfish,” Molly pinches the bridge of his nose, “No no, I am. I  _ think _ I am. I  **should** be.”

A heavy, warm palm rests on Molly’s shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts momentarily as he feels the weight of this touch.

“You and I have different views on ‘love’,” Caduceus starts, “It’s not wrong for you to love me. Because truthfully, I do love you, Mollymauk. It’s a little different, I think whereas you feel love for your partners in a deeply intimate way, I feel love from the perspective of… Outside looking in.”

Molly quirks a brow in silent questioning.

“I love and care for you just as I do for all my friends, for my family. I want to support you, see you come into your full potential. I’d like to be alongside you,” Caduceus slides his hand from Molly’s one shoulder and around to the other, “I don’t want to be seen as a  _ goal _ . Those stories of ‘ _ happily ever after _ ’ are nice, but I don’t expect anyone to settle their lives purely on me. And in turn, I can’t settle my life purely on one other individual.”

Molly’s face softens, he listens intently, slowly trying to process the words.

“Now, I still understand though if this isn’t enough for you,” Caduceus smiles to him, “And that’s alright. I am sorry for the hurt it causes, but I would hope by the end, we can still remain close.”

Molly gives it a beat, eyes searching around Caduceus’s face as he looks at the way his eyes crease from his smile, and listening to the sincerity to his tone. For the portion of his own heart that feels broken by a gentle rejection, the rest of it feels elated to hear this. It isn’t the same deeply passionate love that comes from deep inside your core and demands the full attention of another, shunning the rest of the world in order to appreciate one individual or more.

This love runs passively through your veins and out through your fingertips. It is mild and warm, tender and sweet. It’s appreciating the presence of one another while existing within the world around them. Even if that world right now is a crisp cold night that chills you down to the bone, there is something about being within the moment and experiencing this together that makes it just as grand.

“... No no, I… I like this a lot,” Molly finally says, “The fact that you even love me at all is more than ‘ _ enough _ ’ for me.”

Caduceus beams brightly, that solemn touch to his face before washing away in favor of being proud and happy, “Mollymauk, would you mind a kiss?”

Molly blinks up at Caduceus, “Oh? Who? Me??” He grins back up at him, “I’d be rather delighted.”

Caduceus leans down and their lips press together, they hold it there for a good two seconds. When Caduceus pulls back from it with a gentle noise.

“... That’s a little odd,” Caduceus says.

Molly chuckles, “Ah yeah, honestly kissing can be pretty strange.”

After thinking about it, Caduceus looks to Molly’s eyes, “I actually think I’d like to try it more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Being aroace myself, I think I projected some of my own feelings on how I view relationships into Caduceus :,3
> 
> Also haha the immovable force meets the unstoppable object and they come to an understanding and agreement where both are satisfied


End file.
